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  • Sex-Ed Steph

What do I wear to the Orgy?

My friend, Ash goes to sex parties all the time. When she got a heads up about an upcoming party, she told me about it and I immediately said yes (for science!). I had never gone with her to one of these things before, even though she’s asked if I wanted to tag along. I had serious hesitations about going to a sex party with my friend because I didn’t want to see her having sex. That felt like a boundary that I did not want to cross. The last time I had sex with/next to a friend we had a horrible friend break up. Not because of the sex, for other reasons, but that was the beginning of the end. Friend break ups are the worst.


Since Ash lives so far away, she usually comes to my apartment and sleeps over and we go shopping for stuff we don’t need and drink too much. This time, it was a target run and a box of red wine. The sex party was on Sunday, so she came over on Saturday. (A Sunday sex party? For the lord of course.) We took this boxed wine back to my apartment and I made her watch Shrill because I absolutely love the pool party episode where not a single plus size woman is wearing the same bathing suit. (It’s hard shopping for cute outfits as and for a plus size woman! Everyone in that scene looked so darn cute!) While we watched the show, we drank. And drank. And drank. When a friend came over with monopoly, we drank some more and played. Even when I felt like I had too much wine, I had some more. I didn’t want to waste it!


I woke up the next day so unbelievably hung over. Wine hangovers are something else. We decide to go back to her place to go swimming before heading to the party. This meant I had to pack a bag. What the hell do I wear to an orgy? Ash likes to wear fishnet bodysuits. I do not and will never own such a thing. I had originally planned to wear a red two-piece lingerie set, but it felt too red and too cute for a sex party. I have a lot of teddies that I have collected as tributes from random submissive sex partners. We chose a blue lace one with capped shoulders and an empire waist. I packed this along with my bathing suit and put on a cotton sundress. I was having problems with the arches of my feet, so I wore my sneakers with foot inserts for arch support. I put my hair in a bun. I tried not to barf.


Normally when I’m hungover I chug water and eat something and feel instantly better. This never works with a wine hangover. I chugged water and I felt horrible. I swam in a pool and I felt terrible. I had lunch and I felt dreadful. We got ready at her place, and I realized I only had my sneakers with me. I was wearing socks with puppies on them, and while they were cute, I didn’t want to give off DDLG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl) vibes. But what could I do? I put on my blue lace teddy under my sundress and let my hair down. I was as ready as I was going to get.


We drove to the location, a live in hotel, and then smoked some weed in the parking lot while I worked up the nerve to go in. We walk up the stairs and she knocked. I genuinely don’t know what to expect. A man in a Guayabera shirt opens the door and greets Ash, and asks me what my name is. I panicked and gave them my real name. The room is dim because someone had thrown a red scarf over the lamp. We walked into the living room where a group of people are sitting. There are bedrooms to the left and to the right that were empty at the moment. The few women that were there were all wearing lingerie, while the men wore regular clothes. The man that opened the door was making mushroom caps which he offered to us. He had a whole spread of appetizers, snacks, and pizza. There was a casserole too. I don’t know why I was really surprised about the food, but it made sense because people get hungry. All the women, who were definitely outnumbered, were vivacious and charming. The men stood around awkwardly.


Eventually one of the women asked a man to play with her and went into one of the bedrooms. Some of the men that were standing around followed her, and Ash does too. They have an orgy while I sit on a chair and carefully drink water. I could hear them enjoying themselves but I still felt so nauseous that even thinking about joining them wasn’t appealing. Ash came back to the living room in her fishnet bodysuit having shed her clothes. She checked in on me, finished my water, and went back for more. I was still sitting in the living room in my dress. I started to talk to the women and it turned out that one of them was the co-organizer and wife of the mushroom cap guy. She’s been doing this for years. She was sitting in the corner on her phone wearing a nightie, a robe, and looking at her phone. This whole time, I’m snacking on popcorn because that felt the safest and I eye one of the men there, who seemed shy. It felt out of place at a sex party because people’s motivations are pretty clear. I wanted to play with him but I didn’t want to throw up on a dick (not again).

We stayed for a couple of hours until Ash felt like she had enough. I left that party with my dress firmly in place and in my sneakers. I think if I had taken off my dress and sat around the hotel in my teddy it would have put me in a different mood. Maybe I would have risked vomiting. Not taking off my dress felt like an additional shield. But it wasn’t really because men still asked me to play with them. I don’t remember their faces or even what they asked, because I had my default “no, thank you” ready to go.


I think I’m going to go back. I don’t think I’ll like having sex in public, but it is my policy to try everything once.


Tldr: I went to an orgy and sat in the corner and ate popcorn the whole time.


I originally posted this to Medium, but I no longer like that medium so I moved it.

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