• Sex-Ed Steph

TFTC S1E3: "SADIE THE SUB" Transcript

Updated: Apr 7

Technically, this was the first episode that we recorded for Tales from the Clit. I wasn't sure about my role because I wanted it to be story driven so I was scared to talk. But Sadie is so wonderful and lively that the took the episode and ran with it.

The welcome to Tales from the Clit. I'm Stephanie, I'm a sexual educator.

Since 1982, over two billion federal dollars have been spent on abstinence education programs.

Meanwhile, only 13 states require the information and sexual education programs to be medically accurate. These political choices have a very real effect on the personal lives of individual citizens in the United States.

I believe that every sexual encounter is a learning experience, I believe in the power of storytelling, especially as an educational tool, this podcast is a blatant attempt to mix these two beliefs in which you and I will be learning about sex or the stories people tell. Listener discretion is advised.

Steph: So today we're talking to...

Sadie: Sadie.

Steph: And how do we know each other Sadie.

Sadie: We know each other from the Woman's Resource Center, we did The Vagina Monologues together.

Steph: And today we're gonna talk about...

Sadie: The times that I was high and volunteered at the Pleasure Chest twice.

Steph: Okay, so tell me about the first time.

Sadie: So the first time we had gone in and we decided to go to one of the classes that they have on Wednesdays, and it was about blow jobs, and I was young, I was about nineteen and so I didn't know how to give a good blow job, let's be honest, so we went and there was this one very, very pretty girl teaching class, it was her, and then another girl who end up having to leave halfway through 'cause of something... So they needed volunteer, so that way she could put the strap on on and give the blow job to, to you know, show everyone that was in the class. And me, I'm a sucker for being the center of attention and I was high and I was like, Yeah, this is a great idea. I wanna volunteer and I got picked. 'cause most people are just like, Oh, no. one's raising their hand, What are we gonna do? So I volunteered, and she put me into the strap on, and she strapped me up, which is already hot and I'm high. So I'm just like, Oh, everything is just incredibly intense. And I'm 19 and in front of this crowd of older people, and so then she puts me on the chair and has me grab on to one of the railings, pulling it across the room, because if you've never been to the Pleasure Chest. They have a lot of exposed metal railings and stuff, 'cause like at parties and stuff, they'll have people hanging from them...

Steph: And we're talking about the Los Angeles Pleasure Chest, right?

Sadie: Yeah, the one in Los Angeles. The one in West Hollywood. My home, my home Pleasure Chest. I owe so much to that place, but yeah, so she had me hold on and in my head, having been very inexperienced already and then not having been experience in a lot of queer sexual exploration because I had just come out to myself as bi maybe a year prior, I was just like, Oh yeah, she's gonna give me a blow job, it's just gonna mostly be funny, and so then she starts and she's explaining to her, to everyone as she's doing it, but she mostly maintains eye contact with me, and then at one point, she's getting really into it, and she kind of turns backwards and it was like letting her...

I don't even know how to explain it, but literally, I'm sitting here and I'm like, Don't moan, don't moan, don't moan, don't moan.

Oh my god, why is this so hot, it's not even my penis, it's not real. What is going on?

And finally, she stops and I'm just sitting here like holding on to dear life because my knees are weak, and she kinda pats my leg and she's like, Are you okay honey? And I'm like, Again, high as fuck, so I'm just like, Everyone's staring at me, which obviously because she was teaching a class, and I was like, Yeah, I'm fine. And she's like, You need a minute? And I'm like, No, I'm good. And so she had to help me down and then she un-strapped me and I was just like...

Yeah, I bi.

So that was the first time, and it was super intimidating thinking back on it, but then also an amazing experience, and I was like, Wow, I should never volunteer high like that again, because Lord knows, I'm just going to come in front of everyone... So of course, I didn't learn my lesson and... And six months later, we went back for a dom class, and I have a joke with my friend where I have big dick energy in the streets, and in a complete and total Brady sub in the sheets, complete opposites. I want to slap the ruler down in the board room, but then have that same ruler slapped on my ass in the bedroom.

Steph: I love it.

Sadie: Right. So I go to another one again, high because at this time in particular, I'm a big old stoner, and so we go and it's fine, and I like doing these classes and there like these older women who are in full lingerie and Big Black stilletos... I'm over here like, I'm so glad I came out to myself. Because this makes so much more sense now.

And so we're watching and then again, they ask for volunteers, and now when it raises their hand, so my dumb high ass is like, I'll go... And they're like, yeah honey, come on down. And so she looks at... There's two of them and they look at me and they're like, So do you wanna help one of us dom or do you wanna sub. And at this point, I didn't quite know that I wasn't a DOM yet because I was so dominant in my daily life that... And I didn't, again, have a lot of experience in like kink at that time, so I was too high to dom...

I knew that much and I was like, Oh yeah, I'll sub. Just straight up like bleary eyed, like so faded, but so excited. And so they were just like, Okay, perfect. So help us think of a scenario, everybody... And so they had decided that they were gonna be my bosses, and I was gonna be reprimanded for dressing too slutty at work, and so it's... My direct supervisor is one of them, and then the GM is the other, and they're just like, We wanna talk to you about slapping things, like We wanna talk to you about your uniform and just how can you come in with those tits out... We need to teach you a lesson and... And I'm sitting here high, I like, Yeah, you need to teach a lesson and please teach me a lesson. Is it, Oh, you need to teach me a lesson. Listen, please teach me a lesson. So what did I get myself into? Why can't I learn? And so, at one point, they blindfold me and then they're both right next to my face and it's... I listen to ASMR as a way to knock myself to sleep, because sometimes I get insomnia, it's the way to put me out, but I know that there's sex ASMR and that's a thing, and in that moment... Yeah, that is a thing. They're on each side of my ear, and they're kind of angry whispering into each of my ear, were gonna teach you a lesson, and then they have this little thing and it's like, you know the spurs on cowboy boots, how they like turn... Yeah, yeah.

Steph: something wheel. It's like a torture device.

Yeah, so they have that and they're lightly pushing it against my skin, and I'm just sitting here, one has that and the other one has a feather, and it's just a really intense mix of emotions 'cause I'm blindfolded, and then at this poingt I think they tied me to the chair, and so then they were like, We don't think you learn your lesson enough, it's time for you to be spanked, and I'm sitting here, I never been spanked in my life, and I'm just like, Oh my God, it... The fuck are they gonna do... And everyone is all... Obviously, they're checking in, Are you doing okay? 'cause I'm not, I'm high, I'm just like, Oh. And I just... No, I'm good, I'm just enamored by everything I'm feeling and high... And so both of them on either side, they untie on each slide, they help each other flip me, and then they pushed me up on this chair, tie me essentially, now you'll get face down on the bed with like your ass out like that, but just on a chair they tie me low onto the chair, so I cannot get up, and then they take turns smacking my ass, and that's when I learned how much I liked being spanked, it was literally, they were doing that thing where they would go really hard and they would ask as they went up a level if it was okay, and then they would softly play with my butt and it was just a really nice and... Yeah, and so then again, it was one of those things where they're like, You okay, and it's just like, I really just need a minute. Not because I didn't enjoy it, but because I may have enjoyed it too much... So yeah, so I haven't been back in a while. I also like it was less exciting, but I did another volunteer where I volunteered in a play threesome... Less exciting, I think the other two are my most exciting stories, but then the Pleasure Chest always has like parties and stuff where they have spanking stations. And let me tell you, after the dom one, I know that that is the station that I go to because there's nothing better than being spanked, and the guy that I'm with right now is really good at spanking.

I didn't realize that I liked... 'cause we have a paddle or whatever, and obviously they couldn't do this in the one that I was volunteering for, but he spanked my boob. I did not know that I liked that.

So he did it.

Let me tell you, that was a very pleasantly painful supplies, surprise. Yeah, so those are my stories.

Steph: That's awesome. So for the first one, you didn't learn, but you're reaffirmed your bi-ness... Yeah, and then from the second one, you learned how when you love spanking.

Sadie: How much I love spanking and how I'm an absolute undeniable sub... I will rule your life day-to-day, but the moment that we are undressing for The Bedroom... Whatever you want, baby.

Steph: I love it, I love it. But is there anything else you'd like to share?

Sadie: We can talk about the Pleasure Chest party that I went to. 'cause that was fun and vouyeristic.

Okay, cause I haven't... They re-modeled, so they haven't had one in a couple of years, but this was back in the day with a fake ID, which is how I was able to get in and thank God.

Because if not, it would have never been able to go to one.

When they have a pleasure party and they had blocked off essentially their parking lot to make a little party area, and then they had different stations, I don't even know how they did what they did with the space that they had, but they did a really good job. You first walk in and you see straight out to the parking lot, and they had a lap job area, a pole dancing area...

Steph: A what area? A lap job?

Sadie: lap job. Wow, lap dancing.

Steph: I was like, What's that?

Sadie: My head is somewhere else? Can't you tell? A lap dancing area, a pole dancing area, and then areas to sit and mingle and they had a food truck and stuff like that.

Steph: And this was all outside?

Sadie: This was all outside in their parking lot. Yeah...

Steph: What kind of food did they have?

Sadie: Taco trucks. Okay, I mean, but it's LA so gentrified taco trucks.

So they had that, and then on the inside, they had set up this, they had cleared pretty much all of their product that wasn't already on the wall, and built this enclosure and it was like a Peephole room, so there was a bunch of people and there was a bunch of performers in there and volunteers having really good sex in this... What was made to look like a really dirty public bathroom in an... Yeah, so a couple of the teachers who I had gone to their classes were in there doing it, and I'm just like, you really are as talented as you say, we really were learning from professionals and pretty happy about that. There was that, which I think that made me realize that I would definitely my friends who go to play parties or you can play and either be vouyeristic and watch or you can participate and play. And when I was younger, up until this party, I was like, Oh, that's weird, why would you watch other people having sex... You know, the Christian guilt was really with me and that one... And then I went to this party and I'm like, That's why you watch other people having sex, 'cause this is hot... Yeah, especially 'cause they know that you're watching. And it doesn't affect their pleasure giving to each other necessarily, and sometimes I add pleasure being able to perform a... There's definitely times where I'm having sex with someone else and I'm performing, but for the sake of myself as well as them, for me, there's a little bit of pleasure and turning them on with my performance.

So again, all these things, thank you, the Pleasure Chest for really awakening my ability to just be like, Oh yeah, sex in a variety of different ways is good with a variety of different people. So there was that, and then there was a spanking station, and there was this super hot, very masculine of center, a woman, and it's really nice, me being so tall and so broad to see other tall and women there, and so the mascs of center person was tall and broad and then there was a femme presenting person who was also tall and broad... Dang, I'm just getting both ends of the spectrum, I'm really excited 'cause it's a lot of... A lot of... Unfortunately, in West Hollywood, there's not a lot of lesbian bars and then a lot of the ladies nights is very only fem presenting, and so you don't get a lot of variety, unfortunately, but there was there at the Pleasure Chest and it was really nice, and so got spanked there, realized I did not like getting spanked with thin wood things, but broad things I really like, so floggers are good and then paddles and stuff, and then I went there and we got our photo taken and we got to try different toys, got really drunk, made up with a random dude who had gloves and he was spanking me and it was very hot 'cause I was dressing real slutty... But I... So I, it's fun. The Pleasure Chest has done a lot for me in my youth with my awakening my sexuality in regards to bisexuality, my kink, and just being okay with sex in general, it's been really transformative. I think that... I don't think that we really think about stores like sex stores and stuff like that is something that can be so transformative, and I teaching us...

I think that that's so important that the Pleasure Chest does... It's there to teach in there to take away that I say Catholic guilt, 'cause I grew up Catholic, but I mean every type of person that has a different guilt around sex, that it really helped me break down those barriers and...

Steph: I was reading this book called Vibrator Nation, and I talked about the formation of feminist bookstores, feminist sex shops, where it's not just, Oh, here some vibrators for you, it's like you also have to cultivate an environment to make it okay for them to use the vibrators... I can't just be like, Oh, look at a huge selection of vibrators, it means teaching classes or turning into a learning environment, something, but women need something else, the... As opposed to...

Well, I guess as opposed to men, because before feminist book shops were a thing, it was just like arcades, really seedy movie places.

Yeah, yeah. So definitely, I don't know, Pleasure Chest considers itself a feminist shop though, but...

Sadie: I think so, even if I unfortunately, people are like, Oh, I'm not gonna use the feminist word for this, but they're at least sex positive, they're incredibly sex positive, so... And gender positive and stuff like that, and gender non-conforming positive, they have something for everyone, which is really nice, they have an extended plus, they have a great plus size selection, not just in the boxes of lingerie, but on their shelves too, I was able to... Me and my current boyfriend were there, and I was able to find a 4 x just easily, I was good of size, 'cause I'm right in that sweet spot of... That size, it's just never there. But still being able to find extended sizes like that, that's something where it's like... You just never see.

So that was also really nice. And again, off the rack, not in one of those boxes where you can't even see what it actually looks like, but off the rack, nice things in there, you can see it in their leather ware, and then they're like... What's the other one? The plastic you on a latex or... Yeah, so that's nice to the fact that you can try the majority of there... If it's costing more than 20, you can try the majority of their vibrators too, which is nice and that and I...

Steph: And when you say try, it's like feel it on your hand, they don't let you just go to town on them and then put them back on the...

Sadie: Yeah, no, my friend always gave me a tip that you should try it on the top or nose, 'cause the tip of your nose is more sensitive.

Steph: Interesting! Yeah, I'm gonna try that next.

Sadie: Yeah, that way you could get it in a more sensitive area 'cause your hands are sensitive... Yeah, but they're used to touch whereas your nose, that's not... Yeah, but yeah, and then, yeah, just all these nice things, and I love their paddle selection, it's like my favorite thing to go to is just to look at all their petals and all they're a whip and stuff.

Steph: Really, I'm such a nerd, I always go to the book section.

Sadie: I do too. I got the... There's this one good book called cunt that I got from there...

Steph: Oh, I saw that.Yeah, it's like an affirmation book or something...

Sadie: Yeah, it's like a little biography as to why being able to reclaim your cunt is so positive.

But yeah, no, it was a really good book that I really liked. Again, when I was like 19 and discovering myself, because I... My best friend is bi... And literally, it took us drinking and watching that one awful movie, the sleep over, and me telling her about how I had made out with a good friend from middle school, and how I had a massive crush on my best friends, gay sister, and... But I was, but I was like, But I'm straight. And she's like, Have you... You could be bi... And I'm like, What do you mean? And she's like, You can like both men and women, and I'm like, Oh my God.

Steph: Ding! Light bulb.

Sadie: We talk about that day still, 'cause I was just so shocked, I was like, Wait, you can be both. That's allowed?

And yeah, I was... Was a... That was shortly before we started going to the Pleasure Chest and Pleasure Chest really guided my journey after that, so... Thank you, pleasure. Chest.

Steph: Yes, thank you. Is there anything you'd like to share at this point?

I think you've...

Sadie: I think I... Yeah, yeah.

To the listeners, learn your kinks, go to classes. It's volunteer. Volunteer in those classes. Let me tell you, you don't have to be high like I was, but just volunteer, it's okay. Just volunteer, its Okay, be a little vouyeristic... You might even like it.

Steph: Yeah, I love it. That's good advice. Thank you.

Sadie: Of course.

Tales from the Clit was recorded at the Ethnography Lab at UC Riverside in collaboration with the Cultural Media Archive, you can follow me, Stephanie, @sexedsteph, and this podcast @_talesfromtheclit on Instagram.

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